You and I are Only One Grain of Sand on Malibu beach

You and I are Only One Grain of Sand on Malibu beach

Life is crazy.

Despite the fact that there are billions upon billions of individuals upon this earth, somehow, we pursue the belief that ours matters.

Think about that.

You and I are just small beings on this planet, a grain of sand on Malibu beach. Not even that. One song in all the songs out there. One letter on the pages of the great and legendary Harry Potter series.

According to the laws of mathematics, and the fact that the limit of a small number over infinity is zero, you and I mean nothing. We mean a number that has infinitely no end in a world with an infinite amount of people.

And thinking of not just those alive and breathing H2O right now at this instant, we have to consider those beings who once breathed H2O and then didn’t. Those such as Abe Lincoln who are gone. Who walked this planet at one point, but no longer do. We have to consider those beings that may or may not be in another universe.

Why should we care about our own lives when there are so many more lives out there? Why should we care that ours is crazy?

Why should we care that we, who are only a grain of sand, stand out? That’s impossible. A grain of sand simply can’t be noticed when surrounded by the infinite number of other grains of sand that are either sitting out on the beach, frying in the sun or lost deep under the waves of life.

Why should we even try?
Ashlyn Taylour

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The End of Summer

The End of Summer

With school less than two weeks away, I’ve been thinking about how I’ve spent this summer. By far, this was the busiest summer of my life so far. Admittedly, the majority of it was spent away from home. Over 6 weeks were. These weeks were a mix of vacationing, working and studying. But I’ve learned a lot.

One, I now know that I love independence. I love being off on my own. With being homeschooled nearly my whole life, I haven’t had a whole lot of freedom. But this summer was quite the opposite. And I loved every second of it. The weeks I have been home were spent working and earning as much money as I can.

I’m officially home for the year though. Just got home today in fact. In a way, school starts for me today. Some of it at least. I take the ACT on September 12th and so this next month will be spent studying my butt off for that. I refuse to take it twice. I’ll also be writing a whole lot. I need to finish that book I promised I would, right?

Other than that, these next few weeks will be spent tying up loose ends, finishing projects I started throughout the summer and filling out the Common Application. For all you other rising Seniors, you know how much stress applying to college can be. I’ve waited till now to start the process and that may or may not have been a good idea. But I have a question for you. Would you recommend applying to a lot of colleges or only a few? I’m kinda lost on this matter.

I hope to keep posting on here during the school year, but God only knows if I’ll have the time then. I hardly even have the time these days. We’ll see.
Ashlyn Taylour

Dreaming about Reality

Dreaming about Reality

Dreaming about Reality Featured Image

Sometimes I sit alone and wonder about the universe. About whether or not we are people who dream our whole lives only to reach reality in our dreams. Because that’s not the way we see it. We see ourselves, our lives, as reality. And our dreams as well, dreams. But what if it’s the other way around?

What if our whole lives have been a mere compilation of dreams?

You know, I once read a book, no, actually it was three books that were amazing and I loved the characters like they were real only to discover in the last chapter that the whole trilogy, everything that occurred in those hundreds of pages, was a dream. That’s one long dream if you ask me.

But compare your life to that dream. You go blindly throughout life for years, following your heart, not giving a crap if you jump off that cliff because you know you’ll wake up.

But the thing is when? When will you wake up? When will this generation wake up and face the reality of today? When will you leave the people who are not really there for you, who are fake? When will you realize that there is an end?

Dreams don’t last forever and neither will your life. So wake up and face the day. How? Use the classic pinch yourself to see if you’re awake trick. Except instead of pinching yourself, have someone else do it for you.
Ashlyn Taylour

Feel Good Blogging

Feel Good Blogging

Hey guys,

So last October, I participated in a blogging challenge with other bloggers, where basically, you post 7 days in a row on certain topics. This challenge called ‘Feel Good Blogging’ was created by Alex Beadon, definitely one of my role models.

It was a great experience for me, however, at the end of the 7 days, I stopped blogging and as you know, re-started up just a month ago.

But without this challenge, I probably wouldn’t be writing this now. I wouldn’t have started blogging again.

Everyone participating in the challenge wrote about the same things, answered the same questions, etc. And then they would read each others posts and comment on them. I received tons of comments on my posts, my very first posts, which was very encouraging.

I just thought I’d share this with you because Alex Beadon is starting this 7-day Feel Good Blogging challenge again. Today is the fist day. I highly encourage that you take part in it if you’d like to give your blog more exposure and if you’d like to have a clearer picture of what your blog is about. I’d redo the challenge as well if it weren’t for the fact that I’ll be in Massachusetts for the last half of it. Comment below if you join and I’ll be sure to read your posts. Here’s the link if you’re interested: Feel Good Blogging Challenge
Ashlyn Taylour

It’s Alright to Cry | A Song

It’s Alright to Cry | A Song

You said goodbye just the other day
You left me all alone
You said you would never leave me by myself
But I guess you were wrong

Chorus
It’s alright to cry sometimes
It’s alright to say what you feel
It’s alright to think about the past
It’s alright to cry

Said you would be just fine
But you knew it all along
I could see it in those troubled eyes
That something was wrong

Chorus

It has been a year now and I am moving on
But you will always be in my heart
Death is such a terrible thing
But it will not tear us apart

Chorus (x2)

So my sister, neighbor and I wrote this song quite a while back. I’d have to say I was 10 or 11 at the time so about 6 years ago. I have no idea what rhythm we had for it back then but ever since I found it recently, I’ve been trying to come up with something that works. I have something down for the chorus,  just not the verses yet. It’s not much but I just thought I’d share!
Ashlyn Taylour

Mistaking a Smile for a Frown

Mistaking a Smile for a Frown

Yesterday, at my work, there was a new employee. Well, not so new, but since I had been in Florida, I’d never seen him before. Old guy, gray hair, no smile. He was managing the place where I check-in for the day. So I went up to him, gave him my name to write down and after him asking me to spell it multiple times I went to leave.

Just before I left he said to me “You don’t like me, do you?”

I just laughed and said “Nah, I’ve just never seen you here before.” I asked him his name how long he’d been working there and that was that.

Well later in the day, while I was working, as he walked by me, he just stopped for about five seconds and stared at me. I stared back, not really knowing what to do in such an awkward situation. Soon enough, he said “I can tell you don’t like me. What did I do to make you not like me?”

I just laughed it off again, didn’t really answer his question and then he walked off.

All this got me thinking about first impressions and what impression I leave on people I first meet. Whether it’s a good impression or not. And I came to the conclusion that, most of the times, it’s not as good as it could be.

You see, I’m a rather reserved person when it comes to strangers. Therefore a first interaction with them may, and probably often leaves them with the impression that 1. I don’t like them or 2. that I’m an unhappy person. This is due to the fact that I don’t express that much emotion to strangers, I talk less, and am closed off.

And in reality, I understand that man who thinks I don’t like him. I understand because if I met myself, I wouldn’t know what myself was feeling so I’d just assume the worst like humans tend to do.

And the thing is, I don’t want to be this person that is perceived as hating everyone. In fact, a few years ago, my mom said to me, that I need to smile more. She said that multiple people have talked about me with her and asked why I always seemed so sad.

Spoiler alert. I wasn’t sad. I just didn’t express my emotions much. And I still don’t. I do more than I did before, but still not as much as a normal person. I tend to express myself through words rather than facial expressions.

And if I’m being completely honest, I want to change that. So tomorrow, when I go to work and see that man, I’ll smile at him. I’ll make him think “wow, is that girl bipolar or what?” Because I can. Because ultimately, I’m in charge of me.
Ashlyn Taylour

The Day Hope was Murdered

The Day Hope was Murdered

I’m currently writing a book. And even though I’ve written books in the past, those were for school, this one is actually my choice to write. If you’ve ever heard of NaNoWriMo, you’d know that it’s basically a month where someone sets a goal for a number of words to reach by the end of that month. I participated in Camp NaNoWriMo this past April. My goal was rather low: 15K words as I knew I’d be overloaded with school. As expected I reached my goal, and bit by bit I’ve been writing more and posting my story on Wattpad. I’ll hopefully finish it by the time summer ends. It’s a mystery book and while it won’t be novel-length, it’ll be quite long. For me at least. Here’s the summary for it and then the blurb.

Summary:

Everyone in the quaint little town of Sunbank swore that they had never seen the two sisters Leila and Hope without the other by her side. They were inseparable. That is, until one day, when not only was Hope taken away, but the hope inside of Leila was taken as well. The day Hope was murdered shouldn’t be forgotten, and yet somehow, Leila can’t remember a thing.

Blurb:

Since the incident, I’ve written letters. Letters to no one in particular. Letters that bare my soul, my secrets. Letters that nobody can ever know about. Because, the words contained in these letters are terrifying, and would kill whomever is reading them. Now, don’t get confused and think that my depressing thoughts would kill them with sorrow or hurt. No, they would metaphorically kill them with pity, with pity and boredom.


My letters would kill their readers, just like I plan on doing to myself. I am going to kill myself. My life isn’t worth living anymore. I have nobody that cares about me, nobody that would cry If I left.


I’d be dead by now if it weren’t for those letters. They help me stay hopeful, or at least they did. But now… now, they’re just painful reminders of my useless life.


So now all that’s left is for me to leave, and I had plans to do just that, but then, then I decided to read my letters once more before I left. Yet strange things are happening, because I found my letters filled with somebody else’s words. My depressing thoughts have now disappeared and been replaced with words of love, and not hate.


Somehow something, somebody got a hold of my letters, and changed them. It could be my imagination. It could be me going berserk. However, it could also be my savior… because maybe, just maybe, their words will be enough to give me hope again. And this time, it’ll be permanent.

If you even slightly liked this, please please check out the chapters of it I have posted on Wattpad at this link: The Day Hope was Murdered
I may or may not start posting the chapters on here as well.
Ashlyn Taylour